Desire
by Mrs Grim
Summary: Brooding of one character about his deepest desire. But is it what it seems to be?


**Disclaimer:I** do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters nor do I profit from this in anyway other than personal satisfaction.

**A/N:** This is a short little one-shot about someone's true desire.  I hope you can find out who it is, but not too soon!  Enjoy!

**Desire**

**By Mrs Grim**

He still saw the image of them now, but only in his dreams.  Sometimes he would end up looking at the reflection in his own eyes, an eerie prospect indeed.  From such a dream he would wake sweating, but chilled to the bone, perspiration running down his body as he shook.  At least he had not cried out; that would raise too many questions that he did not want to answer.

And he did not know why the image was so startling, well, that was not true.  He knew it was not real, knew it was impossible for him now, knew that he would never ever see that image again.  Of course he could if he had wanted to, if he had ventured—

But no, such thoughts were ridiculous.  Only pain could be inflicted from that sight now, only a sense of fear that not even he could understand.  But it was not fear.  And that was what he was afraid of.

Sometimes he could even sense the warmth of the hands on his shoulders, feel the happiness without seeing the two smiling faces, expressions mirroring his own.  He would know that they were there, know that they loved him.  And know that it could never be.

Too many years had it haunted his memory, too many years had it disturbed his sleep.  And yet it was impossible to forget.  Your true desires often are.

How he had cursed and screamed at the mirror after that moment.  How dare it show him, show him _this_?  Was there no torture greater than this image, this image that never was and never would be?  Part of him ached, positively cried out against what his eyes saw, what his mind remembered still.  

_Erised__…desires…your heart's desire…the mirror does not lie…_

The memory struck him full force then, bringing him to his knees, bringing what might have been a tear to his eye had the light revealed his face.  His thoughts were as dark as the night around him, the image dancing through his mind, leading him on a far from merry journey into the past.  Into the past that his heart desired.

_My heart does not desire this!  It never did and does not still!  My mind controls my body, my needs, my actions!  **I** control my heart as I ever have!_

The rain began to fall slightly, a gentle mist spreading about him, the dirt beneath his robes beginning to suck him in as the moisture soaked him.  And yet he did not move, did not even breathe.

_ThemirrordoesnotliethemirrordoesnotliethemirrordoesnotliethemirrordoesnotliethemirrordoesnotliethemirrordoesnotlieThemirror does not lie The mirrordoes not lie The mirror does not LIE The Mirror does not LIE! THE MIRROR DOES NOT LIE…_

Soon those simple words were in the whisper of the wind, the whistling of the trees, the scurrying of a little animal across the ground.  There was no escape; he could not even draw back into his mind for protection, for his mind was telling him the same thing.  Rejecting it was costing him his sanity.

Letting out a muffled cry, he flung himself to the ground, releasing all control of his muscles, lying as if dead, as if dying.  As if he had nothing left to live for.

And there, his cheek resting in the mud, he could now see them in the puddle, their hands on his shoulders, faces radiant, mouths smiling with joy uncontrollable.  And even in his own smile, he saw blood, he saw destruction.  Their blood.  Their destruction.

_The mirror does not lie._

All these years, all this time since happening upon that mirror…and it was all the same.  Could he truly want the one thing he would never have?  Could he truly want that image?  Had he blocked it out of his mind and ignored the whispers of his soul?  He could not want this!  He could not!

_            The mirror does not lie_

**A/N:** So what do you think? *looks rather nervous* This was a random thought I had when I was on the bus coming back from Chicago today.  I don't think anyone has never done something like this with Voldemort (but I could be wrong!)…you all did get that it was him, right?  I wanted to make it seem like it could be Harry in the beginning (for that matter, it could be Neville in the beginning as well and I was toying about breaking it apart after a certain point and having it go in three different directions, but I decided against it, though I think it would be neat), but I wanted to get the point across without using the name in the end ^_^  Hope you liked it!


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